Washington, D.C. is a sacred place in American history. It’s home to various government buildings, as well as numerous monuments that proudly display America’s dedication to preserve humxn rights. However, when the Supreme Court overthrew the right to bodily autonomy, it clearly showed us that the members of the court do not align themselves with liberty. As punishment, SCOTUS should be moved to a shack in the midwest until they get their act together.
Dear readers, I know the question that’s on your mind: “What are we going to do with the current building?” I am glad you asked! I am launching an initiative to transform 1 First St NE, Washington, DC into the largest, greatest, fanciest abortion clinic in the world. Heck, we’ve got enough space to include a museum dedicated to womyn’s rights, a monument dedicated to me, and maybe even a few AirBnB rooms to boot.
And have you ever wondered why it’s forbidden to take pictures inside the SCOTUS building? What are they hiding? My guess is that they are hoarding a gourmet food court all to themselves. Well, dear readers, it’s time to seize this food court for the proletariat. While Clarance Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh try to write legal documents covered in mosquitos, womyn will receive top-of-the-line medical care and eat Subway sandwiches in their former offices.
Ladies, the time to act is NOW. We cannot have our rights taken away by folx who literally dress up like Sith lords. With your signature our petition can banish the Supreme Court far away, where the lack of an internet connection will prevent them from Tweeting their harmful opinions ever again.